Just another Manic Monday? Wish it was Sunday? Nothing beats a case of the Mondays like a camp-out. And we ain’t talkin’ s’mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers. We’re talking about getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. That’s right, every Monday we’ll be bringing you the best of the worst. It’s gonna be awesome – and terrible! – all at the same time.
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (2003)
Remember the first season of American Idol? The pre-Glambert, Paula days? Yeah, I don’t either. But I do remember From Justin to Kelly, the self-proclaimed “musical event of the summer.” (Cue laughter.) It was all clearly a joke. It must have been. The film actually beat out Glitter in the “Worst ‘Musical’ of Our First 25 Years” at the Razzies. I have nothing to say to those of you who actually took this movie seriously.
The film stars Kelly Clarkson and her goldy-locked American Idol runner-up, Justin Guarini, and is set during spring break in Fort Lauderdale. Of course, they are destined lovers. What else? In a mishmash of bad acting, bad dancing and bad screenplay, the singing sensations deal with backstabbing friends, minor law run-ins and altogether, very, very clean fun. Anti-bacterial, spotless, germaphobic fun. It is the most bizarre imagined spring break ever.
It’s so lame that it’s hilarious. Think 1950s zeitgeist in a 2003 world.
Why it’s terrible:
The opening group dance
As soon as the idols set foot on the sandy beach, they’re hurled into song and a massive group dance number. It’s just too awkward. Not enough Bollywood skill.
…is like nails on a chalkboard. Just make it stop, please. He raps a total of three times in the film but it feels like ten times too many.
Justin’s annoying friends
See previously-mentioned rapping. Add in Brandon’s money-making obsession and woman-chasing persistence. Then there’s Eddie, the over-exaggerated tech-geek on the hunt for his chat room soul mate, with a massive mobile strapped to his belt and trying to connect to the internet with a rotary phone.
Justin’s friends are the same as Kelly’s friends. There’s the opposite-sex hungry one and the one who believes in true love. It just doubles the annoyance.
He’s just way too into this movie. It’s not right.
Why it’s awesome:
The singing stops but the music doesn’t. There’s a overly-dramatic exchange of words that you’re just itching to mimic. Then the song picks up again mid-sentence. It’s so realistic. I do it all the time.
“Forever Part of Me”
Standing in the crowd, a few feet apart, watching some beach break-dancing, our fateful lovers take no notice of each other. Then they burst into song. Suddenly, both their hearts are aching to find one another through the head-bopping crowd. They pass each other a few feet apart again. Kelly stops and pauses in the foreground, Justin in the background. Then keep walking. So dramatic, so moving.
You know when acting is so bad you can’t stop watching? That’s what you get in From Justin to Kelly. Come on, they can sing (kind of), isn’t that enough?
It’s golden. It’s fluffy. It’s magical. Could this film exist without Justin’s hair? Definitely not.