BY ISA MONTAGNESE
THE DL: Two wanted criminals (George Clooney and Quentin himself) take a family (headed by a RV-driving pastor played by Harvey Keitel!) hostage and drag them to a strip club in Mexico run by ugly, angry vampires!
RESIDENT BAMF: Frost! The huge domino-playing biker played by ’70s genre actor Fred Williamson. Frost isn’t fazed by anything, including a naked lady dancing on his table that he politely asks to leave so he can play dominoes in peace before shit gets crazy! He’s a gentle protector of the kids and a huge killer who can throw vampires around like sacks of potatoes.
WHAT A QT! (CLASSIC QUENTIN MOMENT): This movie is directed by Robert Rodriguez, so there are only a few real Quentin moments. One is the opening scene where the Seth and Richard Gecko try to hold up a convenience store and instead get into an argument like an old couple. They end up killing everyone and blowing the place up. Completely unfazed by what they’ve done, they continue arguing the rest of the day. It’s a long chatty scene with plenty of misunderstandings, but everything is solved by violence in the end, of course!
PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC: The music in this one is less Tarantino (bummer) and more atmospheric. The band featured, Tito & Tarantula, is the highlight, especially when they turn into vampires and their instruments are made of human bodies.
I may be a bastard, but I’m not a fucking bastard.