BY ARIANA POTICHNYJ
When I asked some of my friends to come see Movie 43 with me, many of them hadn’t even heard of it. When I told them that it was like if Love Actually and all the other holiday cameo movies and Not Another Teen Movie and American Pie had some sort of lovechild, they all turned their noses up in the air and pretended that they had to wash their hair that night. With my hair washed, I went to see Movie 43 and, well, let’s just say, I wish I had an unexpected surgery or a dying grandmother to visit too, because it was just bad.
The pull, of course, is seeing all your favourite stars in what is marketed to be a comedy film, when in fact, what you walk into is sort of a messy show-and-tell of celebrities thrown together in a movie that tries too hard. Even the parts that are genuinely funny seem to be thirsting for attention, and as for the parts that aren’t genuinely funny, they just come off as offensive. And this is coming from someone who has enjoyed movies like American Pie and the Scary Movie franchise for years. I do not mind raunchy, politically incorrect, sexualized humor, but Movie 43 tries so hard to shock you that once you get over the initial shock, you’re just sort of bored.
As I was sitting through the hour and a half of what looks like the editing floor scraps of all other low-brow flicks, I found myself constantly wondering how they roped stars like Kate Winslet, Dennis Quaid, and Greg Kinnear, into a film like this. Some patrons of the genre, like Anna Faris, Seann William Scott, and Johnny Knoxville were almost expected. This movie even tried to redeem itself by throwing in some of my biggest celebrity crushes like Seth MacFarlane, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Kristen Bell, but try as it may, I just couldn’t bring myself to like it.
In fact, part of the way through the movie, I stopped paying attention and found myself contemplating if I was too old to enjoy the dirty, slapstick humor of my teenage years. I thought on the movies I would watch with my friends in my basement on weekends in middle school and high school, when my parents were asleep, of course, and was reminded of how we would try our best not to laugh too loudly. I have a feeling that, perhaps, to those who still need to sneak into an R-rated movie, Movie 43 may be a good time for the thrill alone. Sitting there in the theatre, just having snuck into a movie you shouldn’t be seeing, and laughing about every bodily function that a body can perform. Maybe this is their American Pie or Scary Movie, but it just doesn’t cut it for me.
So, to all you hardcore teenagers, looking for a good gross-out comedy with people you will definitely recognize, go and enjoy yourselves for me. Cherish Movie 43 in your hearts in the only way gross-out-slapstick-shut-up-my-mom’s-gonna-come-down-here-soon movies can be cherished–by quoting it so often that, eventually, the jokes take on a life of their own, and you’ll eventually forget which movie you stole that line from.
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