BY ARIANA POTICHNYJ
Goodness, who would’ve thought that they would actually be making an Archie movie? Someone in Hollywood has been listening to my prayers and they have decided to give it the green light! I’m curious to see who they’re going to choose and how they’re going to structure it (high school, post-high school, etc). When I was asked to give my ideal casting, I think I shrieked in the middle of Halifax’s most hipster coffee shop and made a baby cry. Let it be known that, in an ideal world, I would gas up my time machine and go visit the cast of Happy Days and switch their Jefferson High School jackets into Riverdale High ones. Unfortunately, my dream team of Ron Howard and Anson Williams as Archie and Jughead will never happen, so I have found other substitutes to fulfill my dream!
John Slattery as Mr. Lodge
You know him as Roger Sterling from Mad Men, so why would we want to change that? This sharp-shooting silver fox is the perfect fit for Veronica’s overprotective, anti-Archie father. He’s a great comedic actor, especially when he plays disgruntled and unimpressed.
Sebastian Stan as Reggie
This could most definitely be my super bias showing, but Sebastian Stan can play jerkwad so well. He can add that smarmy ahole quality that everyone associates with Reggie. He’s handsome, he’s rich, and I’m pretty sure John Slattery would rather he was dating his fictional daughter.
Jennifer Lawrence as Betty Cooper
Betty is sweet and awkward and a bit goofy, especially when compared to the perfection that is Veronica (Oops, my bias is showing). Jennifer Lawrence, Hollywood’s favourite adorable human disaster, could easily bring the warmth and kindness that people attribute to Betty. I can also easily picture her going from fixing a car to going out to a dance or out for dinner with Archie. She can play dressed down and dressed up equally well, and that’s something Betty’s been famous for since the first prints of the comics.
Leighton Meester as Veronica Lodge
Leighton, who is apparently a total sweetheart in real life, brings something really nasty and evil to most of her characters. She takes no prisoners and looks amazing in all fashionable items of clothing. Having played Blair Waldorf, I feel like Meester would be able to play the original “bad bitch” that is Veronica Lodge even better.
Darren Criss as Jughead
Everyone’s favourite supermegaawesomefoxyhot goofball would look right at home with a burger on his plate and a paper crown on his head. I would also kill to see him make jokes at Leighton Meester’s expense. There’s something about that dynamic that is already killing me and I already wish it existed. Darren Criss seems like he’d be a really good friend to anyone, so why not make him the king of all best friends?
Unknown as Archie Andrews
You heard me, I don’t want someone we all know and love to play Archie. I feel like Archie would be a great role for a breakthrough star or a smokin’ hot ginger man straight out of acting classes. Archie, being so iconic, shouldn’t be played by someone famous or with other famous connotations. The role is bigger than any one actor’s IMDb page, and I just feel like putting a famous face there is going detract from everything. If I was forced to pick someone, it would probably be Armie Hammer, but even with his perfection I’m not entirely sold on the idea.